Secret Fields
by Aquosus
Summary: (Rated R 'cause I sure like to swear) A fanfiction writer's nightmares begin when Sting arrives on his doorstep. "You stole my song..."
1. Chapter 1

Secret Field

Chapter 1

I sat on a bench at the mall. The mall wasn't a very big mall, but it wasn't a strip mall. There was a small fountain that spurted water in front of me.

__

Just leave.

I had a guitar sitting on my lap and a hat upturned on the ground. Beings a writer doesn't make a whole lot of money, especially when you write for Fanfiction.net. Playing songs until people got annoyed with them and tossed some change in your hat was better then some of the other options out there.

__

Don't play it. Don't play a song. Just put it all away and go to the sperm bank.

I looked down at my guitar. The voices in my head were right; the sperm bank is a better way to get some cash…well at least it was more fun that way. I only needed a few bucks so I could get a coffee, definitely nothing to go over to the sperm bank for. So strumming on the guitar was what I started to do.

Her hair was an unnatural red. I saw her right before the last note of my first chord sounded. She was my ex girlfriend, Autum. And yes, she did spell her name stupidly. She hadn't noticed me sitting there with my guitar, but I sure saw her as she went into the nearest SunCoast video store. My urge for singing had left…


	2. Chapter 2

Secret Field

Chapter 2

****

Six months later…

I was asleep on my couch. I usually slept there. I had a big problem with sleeping in my bed, it wasn't as comfy. I really dislike being woken up, especially when I'm being woken up by someone else. There was a knock at my door. Deep in my sleep I had heard it, but figured since I was sleeping, it wasn't anything important. Then the knock came again. This started to wake me. With a grunt, I shifted my sleeping position. Again, the knock vibrated through my house. My eyes finally opened and I looked over at the clock.

"Who the hell wants to see me at one o'clock in the afternoon?" I asked myself.

Five series of knocks could've gone by in the time I finally got to the door.

"Rez! Get ready to kill this bastard for waking me up this early when I open the door." A black lab wandered in to the room at the sound of its name. Its eyes looked up at me with confusion, then to the door where the silhouette of a person could be seen in the window.

I rubbed my face and finally opened up the door. A medium sized man stood there looking at me. I looked him up and down. He was wearing a black and yellow stripped sweater, and he held a walking cane in his left hand. His hair was short, and he looked friendly. However, friendly wasn't what I was at the time.

"Yeah?" I groggily asked.

"Hello, Mr. Aquosus," his accent was obviously English. "I have come here to deal a bargain with you."

"Do I know you?"

"Of course you do, my good man. I'm the great musician, Sting. Everyone knows me. I'm a rock superstar."

"…Oh…OK…A bargain?" I looked over at Rez. Anyone coming to my door claiming to be Sting, was a complete nut case. "Rez! Attack!"

She looked up at me, then to the door, then at me, back and forth a half a dozen times before finally walking away.

"Now Mr. Aquosus, we don't need any outsiders. This is just between you and me."

"Damn dog," I said under my breath. Then to the man, "…Right…So…Sting? Why the hell are you standing in my doorway?"

"Ah, yes. It's concerning your plagiary of my song."

"Are you saying I stole your song?"

He looked at me with confusion for a moment, "…yes."

"Oh." I thought a minute about what he was saying. "Well, 'Sting' if that is your real name. I don't even write songs. I just play them to make some side cash at malls."

"Well I couldn't be mistaken, this surely is my song," he handed me a few pieces of paper.

"Well that's nice and all," making a show of looking at the papers, "… but please. I'm not a record company. Go pan your wears else where. Goodbye…Sting." With that I closed the door and hid behind the wall so he couldn't see me through the window.

"Bother." and "Oh well." was what I heard from the other side of the door. There was a heavy thump on the porch, before he walked away. I listened for the sound of him entering his car, the sound of it starting, and gravel sliding around as it drove off.

I opened the door to see what the thump was. I saw nothing but the pieces of paper that he tried handing to me earlier underneath a rock. I checked around to make sure my asylum escapee wasn't hiding anywhere, then picked up the abandoned paper.

I started examining it as I walked back into my house. The front page was blank, save a few words that said, "Fields of Gold By Sting"

"Yeah I heard the song before, Mr. Sting," I mumbled before tossing the papers into the trash.


	3. Chapter 3

Secret Field

Chapter 3

The next day I sat staring at the screen to my laptop. The words that were typed onto it were glaring me right in the face. I re-read them over and over to myself, trying to come up with something more to write down. Rez was next to me, not being any help, but she was doing what she was good at; being annoying.

"No Rez, I don't want the ball." She put her ball on my lap anyway, and looked up at me, waiting patiently. Like I was about to do something godly. I however, ignored her as I always do.

_This is bad writing. Besides, no one reads yaoi stories anyway._

"Everyone on Fanfiction reads yaoi. It's a good way to get noticed," I said back to myself.

_But do you really want those types of people to notice you? The people that think that Cloud should get it on with Sephiroth?_

I thought about what the voice was saying. I starting highlighting from the bottom where it said, "…and Sephiroth smiled at him." up to the top where it said, "Cloud reached up for his hand…"

_You know what to do._

"Right, no crazy yaoi fans for me," and I hit delete. I looked over and smiled at Rez triumphantly. She still had the blank look she started with, eyes fixed on the ball in my lap, willing it to fly through the air.

I started off to the kitchen to grab a drink. My maid was in the living room swearing at the vacuum cleaner. As I walked by her, she looked up at me accusingly, like it was my fault that she got stuck in the job that she held. I don't know her name. She never told me what it was, mainly because she was the most unfriendly person in the world. She had a scowl that would make Hitler himself start crying. I never asked the agency for friendly, though. I asked for cheap.

I glanced at the table on my way to the refrigerator, and sitting there on the top where the papers that I had discarded the other day. I picked them up and turned them over a few times.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing going through my trash?" I yelled into the other room.

"It fell out. I thought it was one of your gay stories that you're so fond of writing!" came the answer.

"This isn't my gay stories. I mean, I don't write gay stories! But this isn't one of mine!" I replied.

"Then whose gay story is it? And if you're not into gay stories, why are you reading someone else's?"

"It says Sting on it! My name isn't Sting. And I don't read gay stories!" I shouted back, still looking through the pages.

"I thought it was a pen name, so people don't think you would write a gay story. Sting sounds like a gay author name."

I smacked my head and dismissed the conversation. Sat down, looking from page to page reading the song:

****

"Fields Of Gold"  
  
You'll remember me when the west wind moves  
Upon the fields of barley  
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky  
As we walk in the fields of gold  
  
So she took her love  
For to gaze awhile  
Upon the fields of barley  
In his arms she fell as her hair came down  
Among the fields of gold  
  
Will you stay with me, will you be my love  
Among the fields of barley  
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky  
As we lie in the fields of gold  
  
See the west wind move like a lover so  
Upon the fields of barley  
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth  
Among the fields of gold  
I never made promises lightly  
And there have been some that I've broken  
But I swear in the days still left  
We'll walk in the fields of gold  
We'll walk in the fields of gold  
  
Many years have passed since those summer days  
Among the fields of barley  
See the children run as the sun goes down  
Among the fields of gold  
You'll remember me when the west wind moves  
Upon the fields of barley  
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky  
When we walked in the fields of gold  
When we walked in the fields of gold  
When we walked in the fields of gold

Yeah, that was the song that I remembered. I had moved into the living room, while reading it. I opened a pack of cigarettes and lit one. The maid started to come out of the bedroom and was walking out the door.

"Mr. Aquosus?"

"Yeah?" I said back to the maid, hiding my cigarette so she wouldn't see it.

"No matter what anybody says about your writing, it's still gay…and wrong. And from what I read, it's not even good writing."

"I don't write gay stories-"

"And put that cigarette out! I'm getting tired of cleaning up ashes and cigarette butts! There's a reason the English call them 'fags'." she said closing the door behind her.

"Blow it out your ass," I mumbled to myself.

I decided that I needed a walk out in the fresh air. I was following a path for a bit, up ahead it started to follow by a country road. There was a bench sitting there by the road, and on this bench sat a man. My eyes peered at the man, to see if it was someone I knew. I did know him; it was the wacko that claimed he was Sting the other day.

"Good day, Mr. Aquosus," he looked over at me.

"What are you doing here?" I answered him back.

"I came to speak to you about my bargain. You didn't leave me a chance to before, Mr. Aquosus. Did you read my song yet, I hope?"

"Oh yeah, I read your song. I heard it on the radio about ten years ago too." I said walking closer to him.

"Delightful! I'm always glad when someone enjoys my work. But you must have liked it too much, Mr. Aquosus. I know copying someone is the best from of flattery, but plagiary isn't something looked to kindly on." he said to me as he started to stand.

"God damn it! I didn't steal your song! I don't even write songs!"

"Ah, but you copied mine, Mr. Aquosus. But I think that my bargain will put everything fairly. After all, what's right is right."

"Look, I never copied your song-"

"Do you have proof, Mr. Aquosus? Because, if you had proof…well then, that would be a different story." As he said that I knew what I had to do to get this guy off my back.

"Story! Yes, story. I write stories!"

"You write stories? Well, I wouldn't see why an author would steal a song… Alright Mr. Aquosus, if you show me one of these stories, then I suppose that I'll believe you in saying that you didn't steal my song. Being as I couldn't see why anyone who writes stories would steal a song." he said looking at me with a bit of confusion in his eyes.

"Thank god."

"But, Mr. Aquosus, you only have three days." After that a car went by on the road, being driven by one of the locals. 'Sting' raised his cane and saluted the driver, as he went by. Then turning back to me, he said, "And remember, no outsiders." With that he turned down the road and walked away. As he was walking, I remember hearing him singing:

He looked beneath his shirt today  
There was a wound in his flesh so deep and wide  
From the wound a lovely flower grew  
From somewhere deep inside  
He turned around to face his mother  
To show her the wound in his breast that burned like a brand  
But the sword that cut him open  
Was the sword in his mother's hand

"There's something definitely queer about that man," I said to Rez as she arrived, of course, after I needed her. "Queer! Shit, all the stories at my house _are_ yaoi! God damn it!"


	4. Chapter 4

Secret Fields

Chapter 4

I sat eating a sandwich at my kitchen table. I made it after I came home from talking to the stranger. Rez looked up at me, begging like she always did when I ate.

"The only story that I wrote that I didn't think sucked and consequently destroyed - and that isn't yaoi - is at Autum's house," this I said to Rez, the dog. "Why does this shit always happen to me? I don't want to drive out there."

"I'll write for a bit tonight, go to bed, wake up tomorrow, and go out and see her." I shoved the last of the sandwich in my mouth, and after I swallowed, I said, "How does that sound Rez?"

She answered me by realizing that I had finished my sandwich, standing up, and going outside.

"Well screw you too, dog!" I shouted after her. I looked at my plan that I had set up for me that day and realized how much work it was.

"Screw it," I mumbled as I staggered into my living room, onto my couch, and into sleep.

A noise outside woke me up. I stood up, grabbed my flash light, and slowly walked to my front door. I opened the door and peered outside into the darkness of the night. I flicked on the porch light, and readied my eyes to be blinded by it. After a few seconds, nothing happened. I aimed my flashlight to the light bulb that should've sent out light and saw that it had been busted.

With a sigh, I walked slowly out my porch, aiming my flashlight into the dark corners where I couldn't see. I noticed that a piece of paper was nailed to the side of my house. Slowly, I walked over to it and read it.

In very neat handwriting, it said 'Please do remember, no police, Mr. Aquosus.'

I gazed at the letter oddly, and I realized a lump on the ground that wasn't there before. I lift up the tarp that was covering it and saw Rez laying there. Only Rez wasn't alive, and she had a screwdriver through her neck. Lying on top of her was another letter which read:

On and on the rain will fall  
Like tears from a star like tears from a star  
On and on the rain will say  
How fragile we are how fragile we are

"Damn that English son of a bitch, and his lyrics," I mumbled under my breath. Then I turned and shouted, "You hear that you bastard! Damn you Sting! You bastard! You…you…." And then I remembered what the maid had told me earlier. "….fag!"

There was no answer from the darkness, but I could've sworn I felt censors sizing me up because of the comment.

The next morning, I had drove into town and brought both letters to the sheriff. I sat in his office, and his eyes looked at me in horror.

"He killed Rez? My dog? God why?" he asked me in hysteria. He grabbed my shirt band and shook me, a typical display of overacting, and howled at the sky. "She had so much to live for! Why God? WWWHHHYYY!"

"Teepeelio, this is just a story. She is really alive, and in your house. You said I could use her for this." I said slowly.

"Oh…yeah." He got off his knees, wiped the tears from his eyes, and straightened his tie. "Right, sorry about that." Checking his script, he pulled a toothpick from somewhere and chewed on it thoughtfully. "So….now I'm supposed to act like this doesn't concern me, and throw in a joke about Sting being a cat person?"

"Yeah." I looked down and rubbed my forehead.

"Well, Aquosus, this doesn't concern me. Maybe Sting is a cat person," he said after a bit of prep work.

With that, I slapped my head, and walked out of his office mumbling, "I'm never having cameos in my stories again."

After leaving the sheriff's office, I drove into the city. I saw an ad once about a bodyguard for hire. A bodyguard sounded pretty good. I walked into his office and sat in the chair opposite of his desk. He smiled at me and shook my hand.

"Well, Aquosus, what can I do for you?" he said to me, still smiling. He was a big man. A big man, shoved in a big suit. He wore a couple of rings on one hand, and one the other he wore brass knuckles with the words 'eat it' on them.

"Well, um, Mister…" I looked at the name plate on his desk. It read 'Kik Yoas III'. "Mr. Yoas. I need a bodyguard." I then continued into the events that had leaded me into his office. Of course I left out the parts concerning the yaoi stories. Through my story, he had nodded his head in a concerning way, and I think he grunted at a few points.

"Well, I think I could help you out. However, you know my price don't you?" he said scratching his chin.

"Yeah, cheap. That why I came to you out of all the other bodyguards in the phonebook."

"Alright, I'll stop by your house tonight and maybe scope it out. Don't get scared if you see a black Pinto in your drive way," he said to me, still smiling. I thanked him, gave him directions to my house, and left. Only one more stop to go.

I went straight from Mr. Yoas' office to my ex-girlfriend, Autum's house. I really didn't want to see her. I had almost ripped the eyes from my head when I saw her in the mall six months ago. But I didn't want anymore of my friends' dogs dead either. I sat in my car right by Autum's house. It wasn't very big and fancy. Actually, it was really run down.

I sat in my car and readied myself to go up to the door and explain my story. I stared at the door through my rearview mirror, hoping that something would happen that would keep me from having to go into the house.

Just then the door opened up and she walked out, followed by another man. But as I peered closer I realized that I had recognized the man that was walking close behind her. He was talking so loud that I could even hear him from my car.

"…and then I took the arrow and stabbed this orc in the eye. After that, I pulled it out and shot another orc with the same arrow!"

I knew it! It was Orlando Bloom! My God, what was he doing with her? Didn't he have any pride?! By the time the shock finally wore off, I noticed that they had already gotten into a car and drove away. Leaving me in my car with my mouth open and the question,

"Is there really a God?"


	5. Chapter 5

Secret Fields

Chapter 5

From Autum's house I drove all the way back home. By the time I pulled up to my driveway, it was already dark out. Next to my now parked car was the black Pinto as described to me by Mr. Yoas. I had gotten out of my car very cautiously and walked over to the driver's side of the Pinto. It was however unoccupied.

Confused as to what was going on, I started to look around to find anymore lumps under a tarp. Just then from my porch sprung a large object that made a loud noise.

"Boo!" shouted Kik as he came running at me underneath a white sheet. He came at me, full speed, until he was standing next to me.

"If I wanted that in my story, I would've hired the cast of Scooby Doo," I told him unaffected by his desperate attempt for a reaction. "And my friend, you are not Freddie Prince Jr." I thought about that for a moment, and then added, "Thank god."

"…so I didn't scare you?"

"No."

"Damn." He finally took the sheet off and looked down at his feet. "Well, I looked around the house and there is no trace of any late eighties/early nineties musicians."

"Good."

"Well…do you want me to go inside your house with you, and check it out?"

"No, actually I don't." I was really tired, and I just wanted to go to bed.

"Oh…well then I'm going to stay at the hotel that's only a few miles down the road-"

"Whatever." I said cutting him off as I walked away and went inside.

As I came out of my kitchen, I sleepily scratched the back of my head. So many things were running around through my head. Sting, dead dogs, Teepeelio and his lack of acting and now Orlando Bloom for god's sake!

"Every breath you take…"

Suddenly I stopped. Yeah that was a Sting lyric alright. And it came from the up stairs. Quietly, I walked over and eyed my fire poker. The traditional intruder beating weapon. Then I saw my huge collection of swords that sat next to it. Almost as though they'd appeared out of nowhere … as if the author had forgotten to mention them before. I grabbed one of them and unsheathed it.

"Every move you make…"

There was another one. I raised the sword and slowly walked up the stairs. I took a look around the upstairs room, and then headed into the bedroom. I looked into the corners, in the closets, and even under the bed.

"Every bond you break, every step you take…"

The bathroom! "Alright, now's my chance to say something clever, dash in, and slice this guy to pieces." I mumbled under my breath.

"You're not watching me, you English bastard!" I screamed as I ran into the bathroom, sword held high. I screeched to a halt as I realized there was no one in my washroom.

"What!" came a voice from my bathtub. I ripped the curtains away to find a man standing in it. Only this man wasn't the Sting that I thought it was.

"What the hell are you doing in my house, Puff Daddy!"

"Not…hiding a gun…if that's what you think…" he said, looking around desperately.

"OUT!" I yelled holding my sword up threateningly.

I followed him out to the front of my house, pausing briefly to drop my sword on the couch. I lit a cigarette as I watched him scurry into the woods.

"You know, I do just love remixes don't you, Mr. Aquosus? Do you know how many times people heard that song on the radio and thought it was mine?"

"God I hate you," I said without turning around.

"Mr. Aquosus, there is no reason to get rude."

"Rude? Rude! Killing my friend's dog, scaring me with rap artists who can't write their own songs, making me see my ex-girlfriend! Wouldn't you call that rude!" I picked up a stick and started to swing it at him. However, he caught it and pulled it away from me easily.

"I wouldn't go picking any fights with me. If you had read my book, you would know that I spent my childhood lifting tanks of milk for my father. Just because I'm an environmentalist vegan, it doesn't mean I can't defend myself. Now, my good friend, you only have a short time left to give me that story. I suppose you'd better get a move on that, Mr. Aquosus."

Rage was in my eyes as I stared at him walking away. He was singing to himself again. This time the words went:

He says I suffer from delusion  
But I'm so confident I'm sane  
It can't be no optical illusion  
How can you explain  
Shadows in the rain

The rest of the night I stayed awake, letting the anger run through my head. I stared at the blank wall on the other side of me. I snapped out of my rage induced coma when the telephone suddenly rang.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver as I finally picked up.

"Hey, Mike?" God damn it! It was Autum.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I was wondering if you had a place for me and my boyfriend to crash at for awhile." I could tell she was really drunk. Hardly a new experience for her.

"Why would I let you stay at my house?" I was shocked that she would be dumb enough to consider it.

"Well we, you know, used to go out and everything, and I-"

"Yeah we used to go out, until you told me you were too 'mentally unstable to be in a relationship' to my voicemail - which you just proved by calling me and asking that stupid question - right after you just got done cheating on me!" I said cutting her off.

"Oh…yeah…that…" she trailed off.

"Besides, what's wrong with your house? I drove by the other day and saw you and Orlando Bloom out front."

"Tell him the story of me and the orcs!" I heard in the background.

"Yeah…well the house burnt down last night…we don't have any place to crash…" Just then I started cackling with laughter and just hung up the phone.

I laughed straight through the day, uncontrollably on my couch. When it started to get dark out, I calmed down a bit. The phone rang again. I had to stifle a few chuckles before I picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Aquosus?" It was the voice of Kik Yoas.

"Yeah, Kik. Want to hear something hilarious? My ex-girlfriend's house burnt down last night! Isn't that great!"

"Um…wasn't your story in her house?" That's when it hit me. He was right.

"…fuck!"

"It's ok. I was able to find another good story that you wrote. It wasn't easy, you write a lot of yaoi, Mr. Aquosus."

"Oh thank God! Wait…I don't write…yaoi…um…never mind. When can I get it?"

"I'm having it delivered tomorrow at three o'clock. I also had a thought. Do you think that this 'Sting' could have been hired by anyone to scare you?" He had a point. I thought about for a minute. After thinking, I realized that this seemed kind of like a situation that Johnny Depp would be in.

_Pirates of the Caribbean was the last movie that Johnny Depp was in. Orlando Bloom! That's it, he hired 'Sting' to come in and scare me because with his acting skills he can only be a pretty face in the movies. Of course he wouldn't be able to star in his own movie, it would have to be someone else's!_

"I might have someone in mind, Kik. But I'm not sure." I wouldn't openly admit Orlando Bloom is a bad actor. I would have a mob of teenage fan girls gunning my ass down if I did. Author's Note: I'm sorry, I don't like Bloom. Please don't kill me.

"Well do you think anyone around you might know this 'Sting'?"

"Mr. Bo-Jangles! He drove by one of my confrontations with Sting. As he went by he waved at Sting, and Sting saluted him." There was a short pause over the phone.

"Mr. Bo … Jangles?" I could almost hear him think, _God I hate Stephen King references._

"Yeah he's the town hillbilly. Drinks his moonshine and drives his pick up every once and awhile."

"…right. Well tomorrow at nine in the morning, meet me at the diner. We'll go have a talk with this…Mr. Bo-Jangles."

"Ok sounds good, Kik. See you then."


	6. Chapter 6

Secret Fields

Chapter 6

Due to my energy drain from my previous night of anger and the next day spent laughing hysterically, it was not an exaggeration to say that I passed out right when I got off the phone with Kik. I slumbered on my couch, giggling through the night until the sun shone in through the window. With a snort of annoyance, I rolled over to get it out of my eyes. But just as I got comfortable again, I remembered Kik's voice, "…tomorrow at nine meet me at the diner…" My eyes shot open to look at the clock which said ten thirty.

"Fuck!" I shouted as I ran for the door. That's when I saw that it was open with a cane leaning up against it. Cautious, I looked outside and saw that my car's door was open while it was still running. Slowly I walked over to it and looked around inside. Nothing was unusual, until my CD player started playing. Of course it was another Sting song, and it said:

Sister moon will be my guide  
In your blue blue shadows I would hide  
All good people asleep tonight  
I'm all by myself in your silver light  
I would gaze at your face the whole night through  
I'd go out of my mind, but for you

"English bastard," I said as I shut the car off and walked back to my house. I stood there staring at the cane that was propped on the open door. It was black and had a gold cobra head at the top of it. I picked it up and noticed how the balance was. As I observed the head of the cane, I realized that it unscrewed to hide a sword inside.

After screwing the sword back in, I grabbed it, closed the door and drove away.

I pulled into the diner and walked in, carrying the cane in my hand. I looked around the place to see if I could see Kik waiting for me.

"Have you seen anyone looking for me?" I asked the waitress as I walked over to the counter.

"Nope," was her reply.

I ordered a coffee and sat and waited there at the counter for a little while. I noticed a kid stocking the cigarette container with Marlboro cigarettes. He looked over at me, wondering why I was staring at them.

"Wanna pack?" he asked, holding one out.

I snatched it from his hand almost before he could blink. "You bet your preteen ass I do!"

Ten cigarettes later, I decided to head back home. On the road to my house, I passed a gas station. However it wasn't the gas station that caught my attention, it was who was pumping gas into his car. I pulled in to get a better view of the guy, and it was exactly who I thought it was.

"What the hell do you want, Orlando?" I yelled getting out of my car.

"I think you know why I'm here," he said back to me, straightening. He lifted an eyebrow and tried to stare me down, but it basically looked like he'd spotted a half-dozen pirate zombies milling about.

"Maybe I do…" I walked up to him and looked him straight in the eye.

Suddenly he smiled, and lifted his hands to elaborate his tale. "Ok, so there I was, surrounded by a whole army of orcs-"

"No!" I cut him off. "I don't think you came up here just to tell me one of your three hour 'Bored of the Rings' stories. I think you came up here to intimidate me."

"Well it's not my fault if the story is grandiose, blockbuster, and has a musical track by Enya!" he said. "Anyone would be intimidated by a project of that scale!"

"We both know this whole thing is your fault." I poked him in the chest, forcing him to back up. "But you see Orlando, I don't like intimidation. It makes me feel…like I just read four yaoi stories." With that I pushed him. When he got his balance back, he started to take a swing at me. That's when I took an arrow, stabbed him in the eye, pulled it out again and shot him with it!

He rolled around on the ground like … aw hell, I'm running out of orc jokes …

"Bummer Bloom," I said as I walked over to my car and drove away.

When I finally got back to my house, I sat there for awhile. I looked back at the clock and it told me that it was quarter after twelve.

"Well, Kik said that they were delivering my story at three, so I guess I have some time to kill," I said out loud to myself. That's when I figured that I would take a walk.

As I walked down my usual trail, I realized that I was just about to pass the bench that I saw Sting sitting the last time I walked this way. Something was different. Mr. Bo-Jangles' truck was sitting on the side of the road.

Curiously, I walked over to it. I saw Mr. Bo-Jangles sitting in the driver's seat and Kik Yoas in the back. Relieved, I walked over.

"Hey, I'm sorry I missed you guys at the diner…" I trailed off after seeing the horrible sight inside the car. They were both duct taped to there seats and there eyes held open with duct tape as well. Pages upon pages of yaoi were sitting in front of them. My vision started to get blurry after witnessing the carnage. Stumbling a bit, I fainted.

Hello readers,

Some of you may be wondering how I came across a bow and arrow in this chapter.

Yeah…about that…well…goodnight folks!


	7. Chapter 7

Secret Fields

Chapter 7

"You know, for a fan fiction writer, your yaoi tolerance sure is low."

I snapped my eyes open to see Sting standing over me. I got up quickly and tried to stagger away.

"Mr. Aquosus, I don't think you're in any condition to walk," he said to my back.

"You killed those two. With yaoi, for god's sake. I'm going to get the cops," I shouted over my shoulder.

"You're connected to those deaths more then you think, Mr. Aquosus. Whose yaoi do you think killed those men?" I slowly turned around.

"…you monster…" it was all I could say. "You English monster."

"Remember what I said about being rude, Mr. Aquosus. Now if you'll listen to my proposition."

"What is your proposition?" I asked.

"Well, Mr. Aquosus, I want you to finish my song."

"I keep telling you, I'm a writer not a singer. I didn't steal your song; I'm not going to finish your song. I'm a writer! I'm going to go home and right some yaoi…I mean fan fiction."

"You keep saying you're a writer, Mr. Aquosus. But I still have yet seen a story from you."

"In the car! Yaoi! It's mine! You saw my stories!" I said trying to get this to stop as soon as I could. I didn't care about my embarrassment anymore.

"My dear, Mr. Aquosus. Do you think writing yaoi makes you a writer? Any pervert with a pencil could write yaoi. You say you're a writer, I want to see a true story." he said to me. As much as I would hate to admit it, he was kind of right.

"Look, I'm getting my story mailed to me today at three. I'll show it to you then. Will you please leave me alone after that?" I was starting to calm down.

"Well, Mr. Aquosus. If you can show me that story, then I have no choice to believe you. Three o'clock it is then. It's a bother that it had to get this hostile, Mr. Aquosus." With that he started to walk away. "Oh and Mr. Aquosus, I want my cane back. No English man is without one. And you may want to clean up the little mess there."

I was going to push the car off into the nearby lake, but because I was extremely pissed, I set it on fire instead.

After my yaoi cookout, I finally got home. I flopped on my couch and looked back at the clock. Only forty-five more minutes until I was able to pick up my story. The phone rang again. I sighed and headed over to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Aquosus? This is Autum again," she sounded a little more sober this time. "I saw what you did with Orlando."

"Oh come on! He deserved it."

"Look I really need a place to stay. I'm going to head out to your house."

"No, Autum. I don't want you here."

"Maybe if we just talk this out, you'll feel better…"

"I have to go, Autum. Don't you dare come here…I um…have a dog. It will kill. Bye." With that I hung up the phone. It was two thirty and I had to go pick up my story.

I parked in front of the post office and ran in.

"Hey Aquosus." The girl at the counter said to me.

"Hi, did I get a package in?" I said desperately.

"Um, yeah, hold on." She turned around and started digging around through the mail. Nervously, I tried to occupy my mind.

"Here it is," she said handing it to me.

"Thanks." I turned around and started to walk away.

"I know you write yaoi, Aquosus!" I turned around to look back at her.

"What?"

"I said, it looks kind of cloudy, Aquosus." I let out a sigh of relief.

"Um, yeah, right." I walked out of the post office and got into my car. I was going to start to open my package until I heard a voice.

"Hey, Aquosus!" I looked out my window and saw the sheriff Teepeelio waving me down and walking up to my car. "Hey could we talk?" I threw the car quickly into reverse, because he looked like he wanted to talk about Dark Holy.

"Um, no not right now! I have to get home! Call me later, ok!" I shouted at him as I swerved onto the street and sped away.

When I pulled into my driveway, I threw the car into park and picked my package up from the passenger's seat. I saw that it was open. I looked, and found that there was nothing inside.

"Sting fucking got rid of it," I said to myself.

_Come on, how could he have done it?_

"I don't know how, but he did. That English fuck did it!" 


End file.
